cutting

I cut myself. I use to like it. I thought it was helping things. It doesn’t help anything for long, it even causes more problems. I don’t know what to do. I say I wont do it again but then the urges come and instead of being strong I surrender to it. It’s a problem that I need to face dead on.
I’ve been cutting myself for about 5 almost 6 years now, It’s not something I do all the time, just on and off. I started when I was a freshman in high school. I don’t know what exactly led me to start it in the first place but a family member of mine would make me do some inappropriate things that I never got over. I still to this day have some major problems with dealing with them.
It’s a problem that’s just spiraling out of control instead of getting better. I think about it constantly. At work, in the car, when I’m at home trying to relax. I’ve finally come to realize just how bad I’ve really been hurting myself. It scares me to know that the next time I cut myself could do worse damage then I’ve already done. That I could wind up accidently killing myself. Which is not my intention.