Isolation and Fear

I'm a single Christian dad with a lot of struggles. After going through a bad divorce, I've found myself isolated and alone. I put on a brave face for my kids and for those who know me from the various ministries in which I serve, but it's getting to be too much. My friends all know me as this "triumphant Christian man", who is spirit-filled and always a source of inspiration, but nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, I know my Bible and I'm able to drag up scriptures and bumper-sticker answers to everyone else's problems and struggles, but I can't seem to find any answers to my own problems.
Here's the deal: I drink - a lot. Always when I'm alone, and in secret. My worry is, what happens when one of my Christian brothers or sisters need me...or if my kids need me to go get them and I've been sitting at home drinking? I'm no good to anybody this way.
Away from church, work, and my time with my kids, I'm always alone.I've created this "safe" little bubble around myself, in which friends and even family have become unwelcome. I'm painfully lonely, but every time I try and break out of that bubble, I'm reminded of how I was hurt by my ex wife and almost all of my best friends (infidelity). I don't want to be alone anymore, but openening myself up seems almost a sucker's bet on being hurt again.
Of course, being a single Christian man, I've chosen chastity and purity...to a point. The computer screen with its readily available images of women has become my "out" for sexuality. I find myself developing a warped view on women and on sex, not only from saturating myself in pornography, but from knowing what the most important woman in my former life has done with a number of my best friends. I was raised to respect and to revere women...this is so not who I am, nor who I want to be.
I'm so tired of living this lie...the lie that says that I'm this Spirit-filled miracle of a person who has overcome such adversity to become a good, solid Christian man. I'm not anything even resembling the kind of person that I want to be in Christ. I'm tired of offering bumper sticker answers, catch-phrases, and uplifting scripture for others, when I can't even help myself. I'm a fraud. What do I do? What can I do, except ask for prayer...I'm stuck.