My Husband Left my daughter and I

My Husband walked out on my child and I 5 mos. ago and he lost his job. No matter how nice I try to be to him he consistantly berates me and is very rude and mean to me. I now have a job for the first time in 4 yrs. and he doesn't really even help me with her either, only if it's convenient for him. He gambled away all of our savings and he continues to use money but patronizes me about every penny I spend, when my money is spent on groceries, bills, and neccessities. I am not saying that I am some angel in all of this, it takes two for any marriage to make or break, however, I begged him to get help and to just be nice. I feel like I am at my wits end. I don't know how not to be angry sometimes. When he hurts my 3 year old baby it just makes me furious!!! I feel like he won't take responsibility for much of anything and I don't want to be hateful or bitter, it just hurts too bad!! I am not that person so why do I let him bend me to that stature?? How do I remain forgiving and kind to someone who just wont be nice most of the time and has completely shirked all of his responsibilities as a Father and a Husband?? He is also slowly trying to take everything away from me financially also and acting as if that's o.k. I just don't understand. Signed, VERY CONFUSED, HEARTBROKEN, AND LOST!!! p.s. we have also lost three children together and have endured alot of hardships and I NEVER thought in A million years this is what my life would come to.