Broken Marriage

I just dont even know where to begin. Everything is just so messed up. My marriage started off on the wrong foot and just continued downhill. When I met my husband he was in a relationship that was about to end but still and yet it was a relationship.I was the other women so to speak. Well needless to say there was no trust from the beginning "if he did it to her whos to say he wont do it to me?", once a cheater always a cheater, those are just a few thoughts that intrude my mind. 1 1/2 years into the marriage he decided it was working and went on to have another relationship, all the while accusing me of cheating on him to the point where i felt i had to make up stories to get us to the point of making up. when I found out about the relationship, even though he says we were seperated, i was still so hurt all i could think about is what could i do to show him how much i hurt so i went and slept with some guy i had just met .It meant nothing. Anyways i thought i could forgive him we get back together and get a house for the family(us and our 3 children) everything is good until 1 night i get this call from a women. i guess he had made plans to meet up with her and have and affair. he says it never happened he changed his mind because he loves me. yeah right so much love. needless to say things just keep getting worse. now were in Las Vegas because he said it would be a new begginning but i just dont see it. Ive lost my job and he just started working again but now every payday he goes and gambles it all away. Today i just looked into the bank account we have 20.00 and no food in the house with 3 children. i dont know what to do. Right now i just wish God would just take me. I think about suicide and then i think about God. I cant do that I want to go to heaven but its so hard to stay on that path. I love my husband soooo much and I wish there was a way I could help him. Please God save my family!!!!!!!!!!!!!